A full year of breastfeeding. It’s… a lot.
It may not sound like a lot. Somewhere, someone is still breastfeeding their toddler past age two, right? But this isn’t about comparison. Cultures vary, and both the AAP and WHO recommend breastfeeding until age two when possible. That’s a beautiful and worthy goal.
Here’s the truth: in the United States, breastfeeding for even one year is a major accomplishment. With limited social support, inconsistent medical guidance, and unrealistic expectations, it can feel like you’re barely staying afloat. I’m thrilled for the women who manage to power through on sheer will. I love that for them. But I wasn’t one of them. Not on my own.
If it weren’t for my three-person pregnancy support group in those early months, I know I wouldn’t have made it. We spent hours sharing breastfeeding tips, swapping research, texting 3 a.m. latch photos for second opinions, and reminding each other this was worth it. Because it is. But it’s also a lot.
If you’re at the beginning of your breastfeeding journey and wondering how anyone makes it to a full year, this is for you. Here’s what helped me, what I wish I’d known sooner, and why you’re doing better than you think.
Breastfeeding in America Is Hard (and It’s Not Your Fault)
Breastfeeding is not just about personal willpower. It’s about systems.
There’s no guaranteed paid leave. Hospital lactation support is inconsistent. Most pediatricians aren’t trained to catch tongue or lip ties, or to offer realistic breastfeeding guidance. Many moms are told to supplement or stop altogether before they even understand how breastfeeding works.
Want to understand the system? Read The Big Letdown by Kimberly Seals Allers. It breaks down why breastfeeding feels like such an uphill battle here and helps reframe your frustration into something constructive.
What Helped Me Reach One Year
Community
Find your people. You don’t need a big group—just a couple of women you trust. The ones who’ll text back “keep going” when you’re crying over a clogged duct at midnight. That kind of steady support made all the difference for me.
Education
When I finally stopped googling and found the right resources, things clicked:
- The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (LLLI): A bit crunchy in tone but packed with helpful, actionable advice
- La Leche League Facebook groups: Ask your questions. Even the ones that feel “too basic.” You’re not alone in not knowing this stuff. Most of us didn’t.
What I Wish I’d Known at the Start
Breastfeeding is a learned skill—for both of you. Even if the latch seems fine, get it checked.
Other things I wish someone had said out loud:
- Tongue ties and lip ties are common. Most pediatricians don’t catch them if they even look for them. Midwives and lactation consultants usually do. Ask early for an evaluation even if there don’t seem to be concerns.
- Milk can take time to come in, especially after a C-section. Colostrum is enough at first. Be patient with yourself and stick to it.
- Try different nursing positions. What works one week might not work the next. Football hold, side-lying, laid-back—experiment and adjust.
- You might cry. You might love it. You might do both in the same hour. That’s normal.
What to Expect With Milk Supply
Your milk supply is not a straight line. It’s a curve with dips, surges, plateaus, and resets. Here are a few things that affect it:
- Not eating enough, especially protein, can lower supply.
- Hydration matters—a lot. Aim to pee clear and you might make it to light yellow. Add in electrolytes like Needed.
- Periods often cause a dip for a few days or even a couple of weeks depending on how sensitive your body is to luteal phase hormones.
- Illness or stomach bugs can hit hard. It might take a couple of weeks to bounce back. Baby may even cluster feed during the recovery process.
- Cluster feeding is normal and helps reset your supply and it can happen at predictable intervals, or randomly.
- Weight loss diets are risky early on. A calorie deficit can reduce milk production.
Tools That Helped Me Stay Comfortable
No magic products here—just things that made life a little easier:
- Silverettes for healing and infection prevention. Medela makes a breathable version I often wore overnight.
- Lanolin for sore nipples, especially early on.
- Nipple shields if baby is struggling to latch or during teething transitions.
- Warm compress and massage for clogged ducts. If you find a painful area in your breast, massage it in the shower and hand press. Getting clogs out is key to avoiding mastitis.
- Co-sleeping safely with the Safe Sleep Seven helped me rest while still feeding
Pumping Tips for When You Need It
Pumping can be a necessary tool—but it comes with a learning curve.
- Check your flange size regularly. Your nipple changes postpartum. Recheck at 6 and 13 weeks.
- Manual pumps can be incredibly effective and more convenient in some situations.
- “Hospital grade” is just a marketing term. There is no standardization for pump speed, suction, strength, or result. Hospitals pumps are meant for multiple users (and need to be cleaned and sanitized in between) and need to last.
- Wearable pumps aren’t for everyone. Don’t force it if you aren’t able to make it work. Do
- Pump part replacement matters. Use your FSA or insurance when you can.
- If you’re freezing milk, invest in a Wi-Fi freezer thermometer. Don’t be like me and lose your entire back up stash.
When Supplementing or Stopping Becomes the Right Call
Let me say this clearly: there is no shame in using formula.
If your baby isn’t gaining weight, supplementing is appropriate. If your mental health is falling apart, formula might be what keeps you grounded. And that is just as important.
D-MER Is Real
If you feel a sudden wave of sadness, dread, or panic right as your milk lets down, you may be experiencing D-MER (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex). It’s a physiological reaction, and it’s very real.
Some women push through with support. Others switch to pumping or wean completely. Either choice is valid.
Your Mental Health Matters
If nursing is making you spiral, pause. Reassess. No one benefits from a mom who is depleted and angry and barely hanging on.
Sometimes, formula saves your baby. Other times, it saves you. Let it.
Final Thoughts
A year of breastfeeding isn’t just a milestone. It’s a marathon.
You face clogged ducts, cluster feeds, sleepless nights, pressure to supplement, judgment from both sides, and somehow still keep showing up.
And if you’re just starting? You’ve already done the bravest thing—you began.
You don’t have to do this perfectly. You don’t have to do it forever. And you definitely don’t have to do it alone.
P.S. If you’re somewhere in the middle and just need a real answer, send me a message or leave a comment. No judgment. Just a fellow mom who’s been there.